I Wish I Was a Rapper

Strange as it seems, and as awkward as it could possibly be, I wish I was a rapper.

To be smooth and fluent with my words, to reach people with penetrating lyrics and puns that are so intentional they make others say, "Ooooh!"

Yeah, I wish I was a rapper.

This white girl has had her ups and downs with hip-hop. As far as I can remember, I heard my first rap music around the age of 6. MC Hammer, now he was 'Legit'. I even had those baggy blue, paisley print pants that I wore whenever possible. Then there was DC Talk. They got me to 'Luv Rap Music'. My cousins and I would have dance offs and put together routines just to entertain ourselves and sometimes our parents. Ahhh, the good ole days.

When I came into my teen years there was a lot of rap I listened to, but didn't understand. I was just drawn in by the beat and rhythm. At the age of 14, our family suffered the terrible loss of my cousin Lil Ty. I took comfort and solace in Puff Daddy's version of 'I'll Be Missin' You'. It was like our anthem. Our eternal song in remembrance of him.

My mother, not being fond of mainstream rap music, forced me into hiding my CD's and tapes that I recorded from the radio. (Sorry, Mom! Confession time, I suppose.) She allowed us to listen to gospel rap like E.T.W. or Carman, when he tried to break out into the rap genre with 'Who's In the House?'

* Anybody else hear about 'Unicorn Girl' rapping that song after having her wisdom teeth removed? HILARIOUS!!

I also had periods of time that I hated rap. I think it was caused by the lyrics themselves. Some songs came out that were not very nice and my younger sister would listen to it and I'd become very upset. That's when I would go into a long period of listening to nothing but country. A giant shift in the pendulum, I know.

I happen to be the type of person who can listen to just about any genre of music. It just really depends on my mood. I love Celtic/Irish folk music, rhythm & blues, alternative, classic rock, heavy metal, operatic, symphonies, pop, gospel, contemporary. The list could go on and on...

But, when I became a mother, I became even more concerned about what I listened to, especially with my son around. You see, some of my fondest, and earliest, memories of my childhood involve music. Belting out the chorus to songs like Guns N' Roses' 'Paradise City' at a young age is something I still recall to this day. I knew whatever I listened to, my son would pick up on.

You'd think rap would be out of the picture under these circumstances. In fact, it is one of the genres my son loves best. I think it has a lot to do with rhyming. Kids learn to sing and read very early on by rhyming, so it only makes sense that rap would have a huge influence. Now a days they give old songs a new twist with a bit of a childs flare to come up with stuff like 'Do Your Chain Hang Low'. Cody and I had so much fun running around our old apartment singing that song at the top of our lungs!

Now that he's growing up (he'll be 10 in a few weeks), he wants to listen to new and exciting stuff. "Not that kid stuff, Mom!" is what I hear him say. And I'm ok with that. There's a whole lot of music out there I don't want him to experience, but I only have right now to guide him. He's the oldest grandchild, so all of his cousins are younger than him and look up to him. He has a responsibility as the oldest cousin, and soon an older brother, to teach and respect those under him.

I had a lot of older cousins I hung out with and we would listen to 'Gangsta's Paradise' and others, thinking we were cool. I'd like to think Cody will grow up being a better influence, concerned about the material others listen to. I know right now he has a heart like that and I hope it stays that way.

Right now, my son and I share a lot of music. It gives us time to connect and a place from which countless conversations start. We listen to artists like Lecrae and Flame. Messages of truth. Lyrics of faith and holiness. Men on a mission to see hearts changed and lives transformed. Not your mainstream rappers smokin' up, drinkin' and putting "bro's before hoe's". I would never want those thoughts to be entertained by myself, my son or anyone else for that matter. As L.V. said, "Why are we, So blind to see, That the ones we hurt, Are you and me?"

Today's forms of entertainment have started to sicken me. Maybe that's why I am always on the verge of tears when listening to Christian rap. To see godly men leading others passionately and intentionally through lyrics so powerful, I just can't help but get choked up.

Thank you, Lord, for rappers with heart! Men and women who are not ashamed of You and call upon others to leave their lives and live it for the One who loves them most.

I'm pretty sure I would make all my friends and loved ones watch and listen to this one video by Sho Baraka.

Cody, on the other hand, has a passion for this song. Sweetheart, stay strong!

Conclusion after further investigation, I guess I don't need to be a rapper, per se. I just have a passion in my heart and a belief so strong I want to share it with everyone else. I don't need a platform or a mic, just the tools God has given me to be a witness in my own way.

Peace!