Dreams

If this isn't the best time in life to dream, than I don't know what time would be.

Getting ready to have a baby certainly sounds like a time when dreaming would be mandatory and fulfilling. Well, I do have dreams, they seem to be mandatory, but not always fulfilling.

Take last night for instance.

I'm lying in bed next to my dear, sweet husband. But, in my dream I am dating Ben Roethlisberger! Now, I am a Steelers fan, but not THAT kind of fan.

Anyway, Josh, that dear and sweet husband of mine, is right there in the midst of all this dating. What's weird to me is that in the dream I feel as if I'm married and I wonder why Josh is not at all upset by this. He doesn't give me any funny looks nor does he become jealous. That's just creepy!

So, I'm there with Ben at some events and Cody (my son) is helping him gear up for a special game. (Not the Superbowl, but some fun sponsor game.) * Look, I just dream the dream, I don't seem to have any control over it so the details I sometimes remember.

I wake up from this dream unexpectedly because the bun in the oven is doing gymnastics! How about that for a reality check?

I look over at my adoring husband. He now has on his 'you were snoring' headband and is pulling the pillow up over his head as well. Great! Not only am I seeing another man in my dream, but my husband can't take the pregnancy induced log sawing I'm apparently doing.

I roll back over and fall asleep once more.

Now, for you action/adventure types. If you've seen Liam Neeson in the movie Taken, you will appreciate this.

I'm shooting the sequel with him, but I'm not one of the good guys. I'm in black leather (my husband asked me if it's catwoman black leather and I told him, "No, it's Underworld type black leather."). * I normally share my crazy dreams with my husband, but if I keep this up he might start to wonder about me.

Back to the dream!

I'm on the ground and going after a gun. It's a decent size, most likely a .40 and probably holds about 20 rounds. (I would know these kinds of things.) I grab the gun, spin around just in time to see him (Neeson) leaping toward me and the director calls, "CUT!" 

Criminy! They don't want me to shoot? This is a movie! There's no real rounds in this gun! Why can't I pull the trigger? So, I dismantle the gun in front of the director, checking for live rounds to show off my impressive gun knowledge... To no avail. Then, I start fighting with the director. Always a good move to make when you're not a famous actor, right?

Transition to a different world. This only happens in dreams because if it happened in reality, we'd all be messed up by being human one moment and some type of cartoon critter in the next. (Apparently I'm not using these as clues to the fact that I'm dreaming. I still actually believe I am some hot actress turned fluffy pink critter thing that looks like it belongs in Pokemon.) *Geeeeez...

Not only am I this pink thing, but I am apparently in a video game that I am designing. Too much for you? Well, if that wasn't bad enough, I obviously had some of my 'bad girl' character left in me because I was working for a specific company on this project and I took my information and sold it to a competing company.

* My dreams have officially brought me to insider trading/scheming. Now I know how Martha Stewart might have felt. (No offense, Martha.)

Well, somehow the rightful owners of the info, the company I am supposed to be working for, finds out and sends me a cryptic message stating I won't see a penny of profit from this game. Just wonderful! This is my baby, my idea, my work! I'm so upset. I go outside. Only to find out we are in the middle of no where at the top of some hill, working out of a shack! How's that for professionalism?

I walk down the hill and toward a rest stop looking area. All of a sudden I'm being pelted by little bouncy balls. You know the kind. Kids beg for those quarters only to stick it in a slot, turn the knob, open the little hatch at the bottom and the ball goes bouncing down the aisle of whatever store and you can't find it!

Ok, so being pelted by a rainbow of colored bouncy balls. I try to take shelter. Hmmm, not much to work with. So I start throwing the bouncy balls back up at the jerk who's throwing them at me. Even in my dream this hurts. Those little balls hit hard when they are coming from such a distance and with gravity working for them and not against them.

I look up to try and get a good aim, and there standing next to this horrible ball pelter guy is my supposed bf, Mr. Roethlisberger. Smiling!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Ok, ok, I'm awake now! No, I was not actually in a movie with Liam Neeson, but that would've been so cool! And no, I did not construct a video game as some pink critter. All my dreams have cleverly been exposed by my alarm.

Thank you, baby, for giving me whacked out dreams. (Hey, I had weird dreams before I was preggo, but nothing close to this!)

But, even more so, thank you alarm for showing me the truth.

Now, if I could just get my husband to roll over and look at me to make sure he's still just Josh.